Monday, September 24, 2012

LOL Part 2


Men Are Just Happier People 

NICKNAMES 
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. 
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. 
EATING OUT 
  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. 
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 
MONEY 
  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. 
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS 
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
  • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. 
ARGUMENTS 
  • A woman has the last word in any argument. 
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 
FUTURE 
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. 
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE 
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. 
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. 
DRESSING UP 
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. 
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL 
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. 
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 
OFFSPRING 
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. 
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! 

Author Unknown.

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